Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
