you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
