trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
