My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
one might say we're banned from that church
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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