Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
