therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
