I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
