Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You have to summon your inner elephant
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
