He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
