I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize