honey bunches of taint.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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