try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
