So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
