yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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