dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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