First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
