I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
