Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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