I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize