Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
