yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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