Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
