got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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