Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize