i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
