I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
