my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
