How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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