Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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