I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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