I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
