ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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