you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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