I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
