my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
