A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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