she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
