I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
