How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
