nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
