I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
