Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
