What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
