soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
