God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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