i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize