i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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