She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
