I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
