Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
