You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am mentally ready for anal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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