lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
