I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
