Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
