Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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