Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
