I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
