2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
