If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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