apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
