i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize