It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we're making bets on your personal life
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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